did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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