he wants to bone in the snuggie
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
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You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
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Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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