So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
