May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
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