If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
