obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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