I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize
