Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
