i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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