My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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