oh god the rape fog is back!
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
