actually, I'm a sock model
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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