just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Randomize
