I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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