Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
