respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
