i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
So much rum. So many feels.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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