DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
you inspire me to be a worse person
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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