u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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