The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
