since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
