i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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