Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
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I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
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Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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