my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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