butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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