I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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