How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
