i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
