would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
