I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
