I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
