In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize