My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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