So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Randomize