Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
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