Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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