I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
