Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
whose parrot is this?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Randomize
