I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
