At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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