the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
