Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
