dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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