I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
