If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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