I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
