I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
dude i'm inner monologue high
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
