wrigley field is MILF paradise
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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