I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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