well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize