Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
