my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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