Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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