I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
it's like heaven, but drunker
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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